Circuit Rider Letter
July/August 2011
by Pastor John DiGiamberardino

From the Pastor's Desk

We just finished a six part series on "Building Better Relationships".

"Let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
And He has given us this command:
Whoever loves God must also love his brother." I John 4:7-8, 21

Love is not a feeling. Love is not uncontrollable. God’s word tells us that love is a choice. It is a commitment to care and it is controllable. Each of us decide who we will love and who we will not love. Love is also something we do. It is more than just feelings. It's more than just words. In 1 John 3:18 we read, "Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and truth." Love is a behavior. It's not just talk.

But how do you love people you don’t like? Can we really love them? Can't I just ignore them? Do I have to like them? Jesus never demanded that you have warm feelings toward everybody, but He did say you will love everyone. You have to learn to love them. The fact is, our lives are full of people we don't like. We don't like the way people act, the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they smell. We don't like some people. Most of all we don't like people who don't like us.

How can we learn to love even the unlovely? First experience God’s love. You need to accept His love and let Him love you. You need to feel and understand how deeply God loves you. God loves you and He wants you to feel it, really feel it in your heart. This is important because unloving people are unloved people. The people who are hurting you are the people who are hurting themselves. The people who are unloving are feeling unloved themselves. The starting point, before you can ever love anybody else, you must understand how much God loves you, how much you matter to God.

Second you have to forgive others who have hurt you. You cannot love somebody and be resentful of somebody else at the same time. A bitter heart is a divided heart. You've got to let go of the past. When you think about how much God has forgiven you then you can forgive others.

Third, you think loving thoughts. How do you think loving thoughts toward an unloving person? By focusing on their hurts, their problems, their needs. Where are they hurting? Where are they needing? Hurt people hurt people! The fact is, those who deserve your love the least are those who need it the most. They need massive doses of love in order to heal their emotions and restore relationships. If you change the way you think, it will automatically change the way you feel.

Fourth, you must begin to act in loving ways. Even though I don't feel it, I'm supposed to act loving. That is loving in advance, loving by faith. The most important thing I'll say to you today: It is easier to act my way into a feeling than it is to feel my way into an action. Even though I don't feel like it, I act loving, then the feelings come.

Finally you expect the best of others. We tend to live up to what other people expect of us. You speak positively to people. If you want to change yourself, your family, your mate, treat them the way you want them to become. Raise the level of expectation and watch people blossom under affirmation and expectations.

My prayer is that St. Paul’s will be a place where massive doses of love are given to those who are hurting. May we continue to be more loving toward not only those here but those outside of this place.

See You In Worship, 

Pastor John